Dear Ismael,
What are some easy ways for spouses to keep their relationship from becoming stale? How to stay connected and/or reconnect?
— Rekindled Flame in 60618
Dear Rekindled Flame,
It’s easy to get stuck in a routine where your main goal is to simply make it to the end of the week. (Trust me, I know. After getting hit by a car this year, all I hope for is an uneventful week). But, yes, focusin on a no-nonsense goal of making ends meet gets worse and more real when you have children and a family to support.
It’s important to remember who you started this relationship journey with and why. Why did you choose to spend the rest of your life with your partner?
Look beyond your mate being a good parent, a hard worker or dependable around the house. Remember the smile you had a crush on or the cute butt that made you double-take? Go back to flirting and dating each other.
If you have kids, I’m not against bringing them along to things you think they might enjoy, too. Go ahead and make memories. But it’s OK to leave them behind on nights when you can afford child care, or the grandparents don’t mind watching them.
Go to your favorite places, then branch out to new restaurants and discuss new films or shows in town. If you’re on a budget, stay in and watch a movie and make some popcorn. The important thing is to make time for each other. Or go big and book a nice trip, if you can. Don’t let the unmarried or single people be the only ones showing off on Instagram.
It’s vital to look at your partner as you first saw them, make time to forget about responsibilities and keep a youthful naivete about how easy love can be.
Write to Someone in Chicago at someoneinchicago@suntimes.com.