Mariah Carey season is almost upon us, folks! (Whether her kids like it or not.) Some celebrate November 1 as part of Day of the Dead. Some mark it as All Saints Day. Since 1994, a growing legion across the globe heralds the first of November as the beginning of Mimi season, for it was on that day 30 years ago (yes, it’s really been 30 years) that Ms. Carey gifted the world with the chart-topping Christmas hit “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” Sure, the song was dethroned for a chunk of last winter by Brenda Lee’s 1958 classic “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree,” but Mariah was gracious in defeat then, so I have every confidence she will be again this year should the pattern hold. As long as she has proper lighting, that is. You see, Mariah was recently on the Las Culturistas podcast, and our holiday diva got on a tear about how she is “the most tortured” by hideous lighting in daily life. The struggle is real.
All Mariah Carey wants for Christmas is to look her best at all times.
In a clip from her appearance on iHeart Radio’s “Las Culturistas Podcast,” the superstar singer shared her dislike for the lighting in public spaces, which she finds less than flattering.
“I can’t with the overhead lighting,” Carey said. “Why do they do it to us? I shouldn’t say us, it’s not us, it’s me.”
According to the 55-year-old legendary singer, “I’m the one who’s the most tortured by the hideous lighting in elevators, doorways, gyms.”
“Not that I got to the gym,” she added. “I’m just saying.”
“It’s hideous lighting,” she said. “The sun is okay if it’s sunset, I’ll gladly go outside and put a little hat on or whatever and that’ll be pretty because the sunlight caresses your skin.”
Although sunlight, Carey pointed out, also has a downside.
“It’s bad for you so you have to be careful,” she said. “But overhead lighting, I don’t think so, honey.”
And lest you think she wasn’t serious about her dislike for overhead lighting, Carey added one more thing.
“It makes me sick,” she said.
You guys, she just can’t with the overhead lighting! I love everything about this story. I love that Mariah Carey is probably a mix of deadly serious and somewhat laughing at herself, but we’ll never really know to what extent she’s playing up the diva behavior. I love that she seamlessly pulls off a “JK, I don’t go to the gym,” with Martha Stewart-caliber insouciance towards activities of the peasants. I love that she dismisses this issue as a universal problem, and instead re-centers it as acutely devastating for her. I love that the sun — the sun! — almost gets a free pass, but then still gets qualified by Madame Butterfly. And yes I also love that august news broadcaster CNN is reporting on this breaking story. All I want for Hanukkah is more of Mariah Carey unabashedly being Mariah Carey. Well no, I want Kamala Harris to decisively win the election more than I’d like to get more Mimi presenting peak diva in peak Mimi season, but I really appreciated this moment of levity. And hilariously intense affect aside, Mariah is not wrong about bad lighting!