DEAR HARRIETTE: I fear that I may have raised an “iPad child.”
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My daughter is 4 years old, and for over a year now, she’s been glued to her iPad.
It started out as a way to keep her entertained while I handled other tasks around the house. As a parent, sometimes I just need a moment of quiet, and the iPad seemed like an easy, harmless way to get that time.
But now it’s gotten to the point where the iPad seems to be her constant companion. She’s on it when she wakes up, before bed and pretty much any moment in between unless I actively intervene.
If I try to take it away or set limits on her screen time, she becomes upset and throws tantrums, which only adds to the guilt I already feel about letting things get this far.
I’ve noticed that her attention span is shorter, and she’s less interested in playing with toys, reading books or doing other creative activities that used to engage her. It’s as if the iPad has become her main source of entertainment, and I’m worried about the long-term impact this will have on her development, social skills and even her relationship with me.
Is it too late to turn things around? How can I wean her off of the iPad without making her feel like she’s being punished?
— iPad Child
DEAR IPAD CHILD: Intervene immediately. Start by setting rules for her iPad usage. Take the device away from her before she goes to sleep. Have a designated place where it and your cellphone live so she knows she’s not the only one having restrictions.
Limit iPad usage to a certain time period each day, and take it away after that. She will protest for a while, but if you remain firm, she will eventually get over it.
Make sure any babysitters, friends and family who interact with her know the rules so that all honor them. Otherwise, it won’t work.
Be sure to be fully present when you play with her, and come up with other ways to engage her when you need a moment of quiet.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I suggest that “Spending Habit,” the reader who was impulse-buying, try this out; it worked wonders for me!
If I see something I want to purchase that I know I do not need, I decide what I will get rid of in its place. That way I am careful about what I buy and, should I decide to purchase the item, by donating something in its place, I can help a local charity.
— Managing Spending
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DEAR MANAGING SPENDING: What a great idea. Thank you.
Another option is participating in a clothing swap. These events happen all the time and involve people bringing their gently used clothing and accessories to trade. That way, you can potentially go home with the same number of the items as the ones that drew your attention, or fewer.
Be careful, though. These activities can be addictive. Your goal is to purge items, not collect more.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.