Of two appalling sex crimes currently in the news, one strikes me as entirely predictable, the other so bizarre as to make one question how it could possibly have happened in a civilized country. In this I differ from Elizabeth Spiers, an opinion writer in the New York Times, who asserts that both demonstrate that “viewing women as subhuman and inferior is not just tolerated in much of American culture; it’s an integral part of it.”
Actually, the more shocking and incomprehensible of the two events took place in France, where a husband and father allegedly made video recordings of more than 50 men raping his wife as she lay unconscious due to sleeping pills he’d ground up and slipped into her food. The crimes were discovered only after he was arrested for taking “upskirt” videos of women in a market and the police seized his cellphone. The evidence they discovered there has led to the mass trial of 51 defendants for rape in the southern city of Avignon, previously best known as the seat of the papacy in the 14th century. The trial has turned the nation of France upside down.
Clearly, the perpetrator is quite mad, although he has pleaded guilty and begged his wife for forgiveness from the witness stand. Because she has shown astonishing dignity and courage in insisting that the trial be held publicly, they were face-to-face in the courtroom. By all accounts, Dominique Pelicot had been an ostensibly devoted husband and father for more than 50 years.
Pelicot also evidently took and distributed graphic photos of his daughter and daughters-in-law when they were drugged. Prior to French police showing her videos and photos that her husband had cataloged and saved, Giselle Pelicot had complained of dizzy spells, headaches and forgetfulness. Her children worried about Alzheimer’s disease.
None of her doctors ever suspected the cause.
But then, what sane person would?
The 51 men facing rape charges represent what one reporter described as “a kaleidoscope of working-class and middle-class French society: truck drivers, soldiers, carpenters and trade workers, a prison guard, a nurse, an I.T. expert working for a bank, a local journalist. They range in age from 26 to 74.”
And how did Pelicot assemble this mob of perverts and sadists? Online, of course. He found them on a notorious website that French authorities say has been implicated in more than 23,000 police cases. It has since been shut down. The internet can be dangerous that way, giving deranged individuals a means of finding each other.
Diddy and the ‘dark side of rap culture’
It’s not only political crackpots whose delusions are magnified online; sexual outlaws and madmen are also empowered.
But, yes, it’s shocking how many there are: men obsessed with hurting and humiliating women sexually.
As for the alleged transgressions of Sean “Diddy” Combs, the infamous rapper and hip-hop mogul Spiers also cited, those are rather less surprising. Gold chains, fur coats, “bitches and ho’s,” Diddy has long exhibited the dark side of rap culture at its most low-down and misogynistic. Some months ago, a hotel security video surfaced of Combs sucker-punching and kicking his then-girlfriend to the floor and dragging her by the hair.
She filed a lawsuit, and he evidently bought her off.
I hope she got a big payday, because a man who will brutalize a woman will do almost anything. He’s a psychopath who belongs in a penitentiary. So, I am neither shocked nor surprised that federal prosecutors indicted Combs last week on racketeering, sex trafficking and related charges centering upon the violent sexual abuse of women. The evidence is strong enough that he is being held in prison without bail pending trial.
Contrary to Spiers, neither I nor any man I respect is in any way complicit in either of these crimes. It’s counterproductive to say otherwise. These are elemental issues. My father taught me more than a half-century ago that only the most contemptible cowards hit women. Sexual violence was to him unthinkable. I’ve done my best to pass these lessons on to my sons.
Back in the day, our boys used to call “All in the Family” “The Man Like Grandpa Show,” based on their perception that Carroll O’Connor’s portrayal of Archie Bunker somewhat resembled my father in accent and demeanor.
He did have a slogan about men and women, my old man, that drove my wife crazy. “You can’t live with them, and you can’t live without them,” he’d say.
She found it condescending and sad.
My mother, to put it as politely as possible, could be extremely difficult. But regardless of the provocation, the old man insisted, hitting was out of the question. I could no more strike my own wife than I could punch a child. And I’ve always known that the first time I did would be the last time I’d ever see her.
Exactly as it should be.
Gene Lyons is a National Magazine Award winner and co-author of “The Hunting of the President.”
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