The 10 best tallboys $2 can buy

It’s hot.

This has been true lately pretty much wherever you are, except maybe Antarctica. Blame climate change if you want. Blame the gods. Whatever. It’s too hot to think about it.

You deserve a tallboy.

Why a tallboy specifically? Because a 24 oz. can is more than a 12 oz. By drinking a tallboy you’re saying, essentially, “I’d like to do more than have one beer but for whatever reason I can’t. But I’m going to have the biggest one possible without being one of those irresponsible people who would chug a 40.” In other words, it’s a sound adult decision.

Here are the 10 best choices for your next tallboy excursion:

10. Icehouse

Because I am not a purveyor of fake news, I am not going to pretend that Natty Ice is some kind of amazing beverage experience. Ditto basically every bear with “ice” in the name. The etymology there should be a dead giveaway. These beers are basically ice water with the tiniest little bit of nail polish remover thrown in there along with chemical rice or corn flavor. They get the job done, if the job is getting you buzzed quickly in an alley or a parking lot, but that’s about all that can be said in their favor. The exception to the rule is Icehouse. I couldn’t tell you why, but for some reason this one is way more pleasant than any of its competitors. If Miller High Life is the “champagne of beers,” Icehouse is the Hendricks of beers you can get more than 20 fluid ounces of for less than two bucks.

9. Old Milwaukee

Old Milwaukee just barely edges out Icehouse because the cans look so cool. It’s basically the platonic ideal of what a beer can should like, if by “platonic ideal” we mean “the thing it’s easiest to imagine somebody’s grandpa drinking after mowing the lawn.”

8. Budweiser

Budweiser is fine on draft, great in bottles, and awful in cans. Unless, that is, they are 24 oz. ones. I don’t know why this is true but the rule has held up consistently for me over the years.

7. Colt 45

I know it’s almost heresy to admit this, but for me Colt 45 is better as a tallboy can than in the iconic 40 oz. bottle. When I was in college I was, very briefly, the editor of a publication called The Fortynightly Review. If I recall correctly we never published anything but the first editorial meeting was great thanks to Colt 45. It’s Lando freaking Calrissian’s beer.

“Works every time,” says the guy who did that little maneuver at the battle of Taanab. What else could you possibly say?

6. Kirin Ichiban

As the geniuses at the old “Stuff White People Like” blog once pointed out, many white people like Japan solely because it allows them to make tedious comments along the lines of, “Well, when I was in Japan, x.” Here “x” is almost certainly something about food or drink — e.g., “When I was in Japan, the Kirin …read more

Source:: The Week – Business


(Visited 9 times, 1 visits today)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *