Let’s face it — sometimes, we can all get a little too aggressive, especially when it comes to dating. What some of us may consider playful flirting, others may see as coming on a little strong. We live and learn from these moments, but sometimes it’s the hard way.
If your Tinder dates end up abruptly sizzling out with a bunch of unanswered texts, then you may be a little too aggressive with your dating style. INSIDER asked experts to weigh in on some signs that you may want to back off a bit at first.
You provide too much information.
Yes, there is such a thing as too much information. You don’t have to bring up your whole life story on a first date, so keep the personal info to a minimum.
“Revealing sensitive information means that you’re not comfortable about something,” said MD/PhD-trained mental health provider, Damian Sendler.
“When people like you, they won’t care anyway. “
Of course you can talk about the basics — where you grew up, where you went to college, and your career are all great topics for discussion — but your date doesn’t need to know about your childhood trauma or your morning bowel movements. Keep things light and breezy at first.
You text first — all the time.
Texting first every once in a while isn’t a bad thing at all. With that being said, if you’re texting first every time and you’re getting curt responses, it’s a pretty clear sign that your fling is starting to burn out, according to certified counselor and co-founder of Double Trust Dating, Jonathan Bennett.
“If you do most of the talking or texting with another person, it’s a sign you’re coming on too strong,” he said. “For example, you write long blocks of text, but the other person gives a one or two word reply. In most cases, the other person isn’t that interested and is trying to give you a hint.”
There’s a chance they haven’t tried to reach out to you because they’re ready to move on, and texting them first all of the time just seems too eager. So, if they really want to talk to you, let them make the first move for once.
You make a habit of double, triple, or quadruple texting.
Of course, you can text someone whenever you want, but texting “lol” or a row of question marks two hours after your last text isn’t probably isn’t going to make them respond any faster. They’re probably busy, or maybe they just don’t want to talk. It’s best to let them respond to you if they want to instead of sending multiple follow-ups.
“If someone has a life and is busy at work, it’s fun to hear from them a few times a day when you first start dating, but creating a digital novel is too much, too soon,” said award-winning dating coach and CEO of Cyber-Dating Expert, Julie Spira.
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Source:: Business Insider